


Falling

by acciothirteen



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-10 04:53:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3277466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acciothirteen/pseuds/acciothirteen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You loved me enough. Sometimes I think you loved me too much."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling

Sarah lighted up a cigarette as the countdown turned to zero. She watched as the sky of Paris exploded in bright, burning fireworks. Love was like that, she thought. Well, at least theirs was. It burn too bright too fast and it faded into nothingness.

She inhaled and coughed a little as the smoke slightly burned her throat . Even after all these years she's still not use to it. He had always tried to made her stop, but she can't. The pressure of her life, their relationship, the demands of her job--it was too much. She needed something to take the pressure off.

 

Maybe that's why he left. Or, well, one of the reason.

After all, it's hard to say goodbye to someone after seven years.

 

Seven years.

 

She was still a teenager when she first met him--a young promising footballer with a horrendous haircut. They met inside a little shop in the city of Munich. She was dressed head-to-toe in pink, standing tall with her five-inch heels. He was buying a gift for a friend and he stifled a laugh when he saw her.

"For your information," she said, a faint blush coloring her cheeks. "I'm going to a party."

His face lighted up in a playful smile and didn't say another word.

 

 

The second time they met was completely out of the blue.

They were both on holiday in Ibiza, each with their own friends.

"You again," he said then with a breathless laugh. "It must be fate."

"Fate is a ridiculous concept," she replied dryly. "Much like that hair of yours."

He smiled and extended a hand. "Well, for all it's worth, my name's Bastian." She smiled slightly as she shook his hand.

"Sarah."

 

They had their first kiss at the Munich airport not too long after that.

"Call me," she said and slipped a piece of paper into his hands.

After that, their relationship was easy and pretty much effortless. She was smart and funny, and he was charismatic and big-hearted. They fit and it felt right, so they just keep on going, year after year after year.

 

2014 though, that was it. He pulled away, day by day, and she tried--god, she tried so hard to keep them together.

Brazil came knocking and it gave them some time to think--or to grew apart, depends on how one look at it.

 

"Hey," she greeted cheerfully. "I'm coming to the game tomorrow."

"Great. I'll see you after?"

"Just like old times, then." She chuckled slightly. "I miss you."

"Likewise. I'm sorry, but I have to go now. I'll call you later."

"I love you."

He hung up.

 

She leaned in for a kiss and he moved away so it landed on his cheeks.

"We're in public and I'm soaking wet."

She laughed it off and nodded, pointedly ignoring the ache in her chest.

 

When he won in the end, it fixed a few things.

He doesn't pulled away when she kissed and hugged him. He kissed her back, with a passion that she thought was long gone. He made jokes and laughed, he even took them to a holiday after.

Maybe it was to keep up appearance. He barely touched her during their trip. They still slept together, but that was it.

"I'm exhausted."

She was too. And at the end, she was the first one to break.

 

"Do you love me?"

He looked surprised when she asked him that. "Of course I do."

"But are you still _in love_ with me?"

He hesitated for a split-second but she knew it was coming. "I don't know."

She nodded quietly and left.

 

About a month after that, a friend texted her. _'Have you seen this?'_ and attached a picture of him holding hands with another woman.  She can't say she was surprised. He's handsome and charming, and the city of New York was a perfect setting for a new start.  It didn't stop her from crying herself to sleep, though, because after all, _how could he?_ Does the seven years that they had meant nothing to him?

She packed her bags and got a ticket to Paris when morning came.

 

Paris was her fresh start. The city was breathtaking, and there are jobs lining up for her. She did her best not to think about him, to move on and get on with her life like he did, but it was easier said than done.

One night, the phone rang. She had erased his contact info on her phone, but she knew those numbers by heart. She hesitated for a moment before picking it up.

"I miss you."

She should've hung up. But how could she, when he was there, saying those three little words that she craved so much?

"Me too," she answered quietly.

"I heard you're in Paris right now."

"Been checking up on me, I see."

He chuckled and she can almost see how his cheeks colored. "I told you, I miss you."

 

They talked for a while, catching up. New York was the elephant in the room, but they both ignored it.

"There's a game in Munich next weekend. Would you--would you come?" She considered it for a moment. "I can try?"

But should she? All reasonable thoughts be damned, she really missed him.

They agreed to meet at bar after the game.

 

That's how she find herself on a plane to Munich, her doubts grew every minute she spent in the air.

As she arrived at the Munich airport, the only thing that kept her from running back to Paris was their memory of their first kiss, right here on this exact gate.

Funny how life works.

Bayern had won, no surprise there. When he walked to the booth she sat in, there's a huge satisfied grin on his face.

Seeing him like that, _happy_ , was like a big punch to her heart. He had looked handsome, dressed up in all-black, and with a scarf that she had gotten him two Christmases ago. He even looked more mature with his new haircut, the grey streak in his hair made him look older in a good way.

She felt a pang of sadness and a spark of pride. He was no longer the boy with the peroxide-blond hair that she fell in love with.

Maybe that was the problem.

They talked for hours and hours, and she had laughed more than she did for months. He didn't took his eyes off of her all night. She was reminded why she fell in love with him in the first place. He was kind, caring, passionate, and he loved her with all he's got.

He walked her back to the hotel at the early hours of the morning.

The city was, for once, quiet and they didn't dare to break it with mere small talk, but the silence was comfortable. Their hands brushed every now and then, but he didn't pulled away.

"I've missed this," she said quietly, mainly to herself. He didn't say anything, just smiled fondly and wrapped a hand around her shoulder.

"Sarah, are you...all right?" he hesitantly asked.

"I've been better," she answered honestly.

"I'm--I'm sorry. About how I treated you," he said with an honest expression. "You deserved better and I should've been honest with you--with myself."

She stopped dead in her tracks. "Did you asked me out tonight to find _closure?"_ she almost spat out that last word.

He raised an eyebrow. "Uh, yes?"

The dumb idiot didn't noticed how her fingers trembled and her eyes started to tear up.

He pulled off his arm from her shoulder and stepped away so they were facing each other.

 

"I met someone."

And there it was.

 

"My god, Basti," she sighed. "If you want my blessing you could just, I don't know, e-mail me. You don't have to rub it in my face."

"I'm not rubbing it in. I just--I thought you deserve to know it from me first." He sounded genuinely confused. Men are such fucking clueless creatures.

"And then what?" she snapped. "Do you want me to be happy for you? To say, 'Oh, congratulations on finding someone that can love you even better than I ever did!'"

She choked back a sob and the last thing she would expect is a hug from his ex-boyfriend, and yet, that's what happened. His body is warm and smelled as nice as she remembered.

 

"You loved me enough," he said quietly in her ear, his hands running through her hair. "Sometimes I think you loved me too much."

"I would've stayed, you know."

"I know. And that's what scares me the most."

"What, me staying?"

"Me not giving you enough. Me not loving you enough. You deserve a whole lot better than me, Sarah."

 

She looked at him earnestly. "But what if I don't want someone better?"

He looked surprised, as if the thought had never even crossed his mind.

 

"You'll always hold a special place in my heart," he finally said. "But I--I don't love you like that anymore. I'm sorry."

And maybe he was right. Maybe both of them needed this. Closure.

 

"You should go home," she said suddenly. "It's late, and you're tired. You need proper rest if you want to get back on the pitch by the end of this year."

He seemed to be taken aback by the sudden change of the topic, but he didn't say anything."When will you be getting back?" he asked instead.

"Tomorrow night, the last flight."

He nodded silently.

"Well, then," she said, a smile peeking through his lips. "Goodbye, Schweinsteiger. It's been a pleasant seven years, and I am so proud of what you have accomplished. Thank you for making me a part of your life." She gave him one last final kiss, and when their lips touched, she knew she was doing the right thing.

 

The fireworks wasn't there anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> hello, it's me, the human equivalent of a trashcan. i've been away doing people things like school and socializing and working so yep.
> 
> i listened to a lot of ed sheeran and taylor swift (obvs) and also the civil wars as i wrote this. title is from the civil wars' "falling"-- that song is so rip me.
> 
> i'm dedicating this to tasha, kitty kat, and uti.  
> you guys bring joy to my life in a way that i didn't expect, and i'll forever cherish each and every one of you for it.
> 
> i'm also on [tumblr](http://www.acciothirteen.tumblr.com) and [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/acciothirteen).


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